Well, I’m back at the shitty Sports Bar again… again in flip-flops, again with a huge haystack of unwashed curly hair, again with my laptop. And AGAIN, I don’t give a fuck what anyone thinks of my appearance or that I’m sitting in a bar with a laptop.
I did the same thing last weekend. I intended to get the chapter completely written and sent out to ten totally awesome people that have offered to help me edit it. Then my life got turned upside down.. again. I swear to God, sometimes I don’t know which way is up. I think I have things figured out and that my life is going to be fairly normal and stable for awhile and then…
The landlord calls and asks me if I want to buy the condo or whether I’m moving out on September 20th – the end of my lease. I’m sorry? What? I live in a very nice loft, an apartment/townhome, not a condo. NO CONDO. But the realty group that owns my townhome decided to give this “rent shit” up and just outright sell them as condos. And me? I didn’t get the memo. There’s no way I’m buying the place so I guess that means I have less than a month to pack and move.
I made considerable progress both packing and cleaning this last week thanks to friends and family. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
I don’t know what I’m going to do now. I could move into a new apartment but instead, I’m 90% certain I’m moving in with Sarah from ‘she hates my futon’. Aka. My oldest friend, Michele, who I’ve known since we were sixteen years old, dating, and working at Six Flags together.
Michele is not Sarah. She just thinks she is. On a number of occasions she’s tried to draw parallels between her and Sarah, accused me left and right, but it just aint the case. Now I’ll admit. When you hear the “The characters in this story are purely fictional and are not related to real people living or dead….” When you hear that or read that. It’s just legal bullshit. Every writer steals personality traits from their friends and grafts them onto characters. Sometimes writers steal entire people. Take Larry David and Seinfeld as a good example.
Michele. I did not steal you. But I will move in with you. If you get another female roommate that would rock. I’ll change my name to Jack Tripper and we’ll have “Three’s Company”.
Anyway, regardless of packing, I’m going to get this chapter out. I am NOT waiting until October because my landlord forgot to tell me that my apartment is now a condo.
PS: While I’ve been writing this I’ve been listening in on a conversation between two construction workers down the bar. They’ve been talking about how cool it is for women to “Put em on the glass.” Anyone know what they’re talking about? I do, and it is pretty hot. But I doubt it would ever occur to me to ask a girlfriend “Hey, while you’re standing there would you mind putting ‘em on the glass?”
PS PS: Speaking of bewbies. Would you believe or do you remember? At one point in myboot.com history I dared women not to put em on the glass but to show me their tits. I knew another website guy that did the same thing and a bunch of people replied. I was curious to see if it could happen on myboot.com and um, I’m as perverted as the next guy. A bunch of women did reply. Nothing on the glass. But there was an Aussie that was beautiful regardless of her state of undress. I had an image of who Elizabeth was in Futon in my head. The Aussie bombshell replaced that image in my head., and I may have to go back at some point and do some revising.